God is GOOD!

Is March!
This few weeks, there's so much flashback and to come upon and see who I am today, I really want to thanks God for what He had done in my life.

Back to the day when I first was choose to become an intern. I was excited in the same time, I'm sad. I know there might be a crack in friendship, I might turn out busy, I might get myself into the busy life, yet I have faith to step for it.

Some how, things doesn't go as smooth as how I want..
Things started to goes wrong..
There's once I got to lead praise and worship on the same week in 2 cell group.
The first one in Wen Dee's cell group, I feel that I've done so badly and I can't even feel the God's presence. And the next day was my cell group, I just can't overcome my feelings that I think I've ruin everything. End up I'm crying and need Joy to help me to continue the leading the P&W.
From that day onwards, I don't feel like singing anymore, I can't find satisfaction and feel that my singing is bad. I started to stop getting the chance to lead P&W, wishing no duty for me to lead P&W in cell group. And due the busy time we had, chance to have cell group is getting lesser too. I feel so 'oh yeah, no need to lead' at this side, and 'no, Siang Lin, this is not the right attitude to serve God' at the other side. The mix feelings make me walk further far from God. I serve in Choir with the wrong heart attitude too.

Things get worst when I realize I'm not gonna graduate and become a leader. I was asking God, why? Why things just go wrong? I serve in church, I follow Your will, I try my best to attend leader's meeting and even find time to meet the Saturday meeting still I got no time for it.. I drop into disappointment. From that day, I take things easily and have the 'tidak-apa' attitude.

But God never give up on me. He hint me in dreams one day. I've dreamt that I was on the stage with few of my choirs member, holding the mic leading P&W. I woke up in shock and think, will this happen? My 1st answer appear in mind was NO!! I don't believe this will happen as I've lost confident on singing or leading.

Still, God didn't stop helping me. He allowed my Facebook fill with videos that composed by my Facebook friends. I know this is funny but still the videos does inspire me. Then I start thinking, where's the 'FIRE' I got last time..? where's my dream go..? where's the pathway that God guide me in..? I started to listen to P&W songs, start singing and practice. I started to pray more too! And my 'FIRE' is started to burn.

When Pastor Kevin preach the sermon, 'PRAY'. More things to flash back to me.. My life is bad when I first came to here but God lead me to a better one. And now I should do more to have a greater life! Why should I stop and quite while facing down time? God had spoken to me that day, Siang Lin, be more brave and step one more step forward, you've been rest for a long time, is time to get back on track! And on Saturday night itself, I've think a lot and decide, yes, AM NOT GONNA GIVE UP!

Believe in God is so amazing and I'm feel bless with it. Last Wednesday, I get a chance to sing on stage as a BV and thanks to Joy for 'pushing' me for it!! I was wonder, "should I or not? can I sing well with mic? The mic!!! I can't sing with mic!!". Although I'm super 'GAN JIONG' but I just feel like doing it! It's time for breakthrough! Everyone in my choir team encourage each other and we did it well! =) All glory to GOD! And we even get a chance to serve in Leader's meeting on the coming Tues!

And next of course, I get a chance to lead P&W in cell group yesterday!!! Amazingly~ I fear is gone and although I koyakz in some part, but still I glad I've done it! (P.S. haven't get feedback from Joy yet). More practice to go for and more things to be improve, God is good!!

Thanks God for never letting me go alone. It's a lesson for me to learn in the past season and I believe in this brand new season, He gonna walk with me too!