I just knew that everyone expect me to be strong enough to face my grandpa past away..
But..
Too bad..
not this time.
Anyway, time past and I'll be alright..
Perhaps give me some time..
And I'll be fine. =)

So much things going on and so much things to be done!
Believe in God that He'll help me through all this.
Coz God never give things that you can't face.
It's time to test my faith..
Well, as Keith said

"Faith not tested is faith not proven"

Went Church Wide Prayer Meeting ystd..
Pray and learn~


The meaning of this picture..
It's from God..
And Joy..
Touch~
thx for the answer..
Guess what..
When I was on the way back from Taiping..
I spent some time thinking and wondering.
And suddenly I see my watch.
That's when my watch stop..
but the few minute and hour thingy is going on..
Weird, right?!
Resposibility is getting bigger.
It's time to step out from my comfort zone..
I might afraid..
But Joy if u see this..
I know you'll walk with me, right?

exam next week, MON-THUS..
Assignment to rush!!
5 week journal to rush!!!
Haunted house to be in-charged and done next thus!!!!
Wow!! Stress level up to 40%!!
Buck up buck up!!
got to buck up!

Goodbye Grandpa!! ='(

Grandpa had been struggle a lot when he fall sick.. Many years ago, he get diebetic and hypertension. And he even had to do heart surgery.. He past through that season but yet, the health still 'turn on the RED button'. Few years ago, he's was diagnose for diebetic gangrene. Few of his toe at right side got to be chop off as the wound is getting worst.. Yet he past through that season. But his kidney is giving him problem. End up with kidney failure and he had to do dialysis altered day.. and start from March.. His health is getting worst!! He got sudden angina. And went for emergency.. Luckily it was on time yet doctor want him to be operate as soon as possible. But his left leg is giving him problem. he got a wound there and as a diebetic patient, it's quite hard for his wound to be heal. End up his toe got to be chop off toe by toe as it was infected. And his heart surgery got to be delay as coagulant drugs will be given to him if he do the heart surgery. And the drugs will make his leg bleeding none stop. My grandpa was quite phobia as his toe is chop off one by one.. And he keep on walking till he bleed because he insist to come back Taiping. End up my uncle decide to bring him back. few days ago.. His wound get infection. My uncle drive him all the way down from Taiping to Kedah just to get the best treatment for his leg daily.. It's quite tiring for them but yet things get worst after that.. Grandpa start to be unconscious from time to time. Yet he refuse to go hospital. He's afraid that his leg will be amputate. On thusday, which is the day I went back, I can't meet him up because my uncle had drive him all the way to Penang for treatment. He get sepsis shock.. And depends on intubater to survive. Doctor said his leg must be amputate, and the persentage is just 50%. Yet, my grandpa can't survive without the intubater. Family decide to sent him back using ambulance. And at the time he's move in the house, he start gasping for air and here end his life.. ='( I can't make it on time to meet him up for the last time. Yet.. I know.. and I believe, he is at a better place now.. Goodbye Grandpa.. Take carez.. And let go everything.. Family will stay strong and take carez one another.. Don't worry.. =') *Lesson to learn.. I though by keeping my own feeling.. It wounld be a better way to support my family. But actually I'm wrong. Mixing feeling happen in between.. not gonna tell off here.. Anyway, thx for those who call me, tweet me and text me. You guys does support me!! Thx a lot..

­

难过了，戴上耳机，漫步在小路上、­

难过了，吃自己喜欢的东西。

难过了，静静的蹲下来抱着自己，让眼泪尽情的洒落­

难过了，拿着镜子看看此刻的自己，让真实浮现眼前­

难过了，默默的将自己隐藏起来，让空虚掩盖一切­

难过了，闭眼倾听周围的声音，让自己沉浸在喧嚣中­

难过了，不必告诉别人，自己的悲伤为何要别人也承担呢­

难过了，可以假装快乐，和别人一起兴奋时就能遗忘了自己­

难过了，仍然安慰别的伤心者，你会发现自己也在受益，当局者迷而已

­

有谁不曾难过 ­

有谁还会记得 ­

过去的不再从来 ­

又何必去苦想 ­

忘掉… ­

用微笑渲泄悲伤

Saw this accidentally~

Sounds so emo.. yet.. still wanna post it..

Hahaha!! RANDOM!

Random BLOG~

So much thing in my mind..
And it just doesn't come out it words!
So let it be and that's it.. =)
So let's had a random blog~

Anyway, I'm quite amazed by a person who is hameophobia to donate his blood yet end up fainted.
Pround of you man!
But yet he could save a life by what he did.
At least not like me, forever can't donate blood at all..
Anyway, I'm signing up for a donate organ thingy when I'm 21st. =)
At that moment, I hope my parents will not disagree with it~

Saw a blog of a singer called Sheena.
I'm quite surprice!
Cause she's out with her own EP.
And her dream come true~
She became a singer.

Been talking a lot with my best friend this few days~
I understand more of what and how she think..
But yet, if the people around her doesn't understand..
Yet still, maybe the situatio is still the same~
Jia you ba, my friend!
You'r in a good life..
Perhaps a better one is in the future..
don't missed out the chance.. =)
remember, ....
I suppose maybe without words, you know what I wanna say~
ON yr 'blue tooth'..

buddy, hello!
I know yr life is stress and maybe you go through a lot of thing that I might don't know..
But this is life..
is either you go through it or you will stuck with it.
I might dunno what are you going through, but yet, stay strong!
And it doesn't sound so you nowadays..
Where's the buddy I know..?
everyone had their own stress and thingy happen in their life..
just remember, your's is not the worst.
Even you don't like it, so do I, don't like the student life I'm having now.
But yet you choose this life, so Go and Finish it up~

2 more days! 2 more!! I'm travel all the way down to Penang!
ALONE!!
I'm going to visit my grandpa who's at Penang hospital.
Miss him so much~
Pray for a safe journey and stay strong!
And pray for my grandpa.. For God will heal him.

I'm wonder why after Pastor preach the valentine service, everyone keep on help each other to connect and get into a relationship?!
I've been motivate by few friends to connect me and him.
We used to be close friend but yet both of us know that's the only maximum.
Best friend remain best friend.
Stop connecting me and him..
It doesn't work.
Thank you. =)

worry-ing make my day!

Though I'm strong but actually not..
Worry been flowing in me today..
Wake up, found that there's lot of tissue on bed..
decide to ignore it and sleep again..
But keep on waking up..
to check the phone..

Went posting..
It's been a busy day..
8 admission..
no dinner..
gastric attack..
No even feel like eating..
Though of busy will reduce my worry..
But actually not..

Aiks~
what's wrong with me..!!
Shouldn't be like that.. >_<

Suddenly I wish I'm not studying nursing..
I'll would had more free time..
At least I'll be with my grandpa now..
He's alone there..
chase everyone back home..
I know how he feel.
At least if I'm there, I got reason not to leave..
And my uncle will not drive all the way to Penang to visit him..

Today he suppose to do heart surgery.
But yet, the diebetic gangrene cause his toe wound getting worst.
Doctor decide to delay the op day.
And today.. He lost another toe..
=(

I can't contact my mom at this hour..
Been posting till so late..
Perhaps they slept..
Am worry more..
Though I know I not suppose to..
Pray and sleep soon..

God, I believe in You..
Take away the sickness and pain from my grandpa..

Sunday

Wow! today I'm awake by Joy!
She called me to wake me up..
And she even provide me Be Glorified lyric through phone!
I'm blessed~
hahaha!

Makeup time~
For the very 1st time I try to make up using water mascala..
EPIC FAILED!
Doesn't look as what I want..
Anyway, still able to cover with pen mascala!
Opps~ Out of time to clean~

Choir practice~
And for the very 1st time I practice with a full chinese praise song.
Quite challenge me this time cause I can't connect well.
Too used to English version..
Especially Thank You by C3..
Anyway, I've make it and oh yea~
Everyone is hyper..
Keep on singing high pitch!
And in the service, though not everyone know how to sing Chinese..
but everyone is in it..
Well done CHOIR!

RANDOM sing K session~
Aww~
I enjoy it so much..
Sing till my voice nearly koyak at the last song..
Press pause pause, repeat repeat, stop stop for Lester. (Actually is ACCIDENT)
Opps sry Lester..
Press singer, karaoke, singer, karaoke for Smun who dunno how to see old Mandarin words!

Call mom when we on the way to Kelana Jaya.
She told me..
Grandpa is in the hospital..
He need to do heart surgery~
By tomorrow..
Will he pass through it, it's all depends on..
='(
With the kidney problem, stomach problem..
And the surgery wound that he just lost his another toes agn.
God, please take away all the sickness from my grandpa..
And the pain too..
Let him be more patient to get through all this treatment..
And the financial blessing among my family for the treatment..
Heal him with your mighty hand!

Dinner time~
Had a long chat with Smun..
well, it's really been some time we didn't sit and talk..
She felt it the same way..
everyone is busy..
Not easy for this season..
Perhaps..
It's part of growth..
Life change..
We spent 1 and half hour for dinner..
Just to talk more and know each other more..

Walk all the way back to hostel..
Am now done with my bath..
lying on the bed with lappy and writing blog..
So much thought had come across..

WHY..?! Day~

been going here and there today..
Even in after tea break..
Saw so much ppl around..
passby some ward..
Look around..
observing people..
spending time with friends and members just now..
And too bad, 2 of my friend get angry on me because of..
*sigh, nvm~
well, there are different type of people with different character.
Each of them are unique!
what to said..
Hmph.. I dunno.
Psychology and sosiology~
Study bout human and behaviour and bla bla bla~
interesting but so much thing appear in my mind..

为什么一个人可以那么悲观。。
为什么一个人可以那么开朗。。
为什么一个人的脾气会那么奇怪。。
为什么一个人的性格是这样的。。
为什么一个人的性格是那样的。。
很好奇。。
难道就不能改变吗。。。？
可是认识无法十全十美的，对吧。。？

Well, if you can't make it happen, and no one else can, there is only thing left to do, finally look up and trust in God to make it right.

Put it on God's to-do list.. =)

Disaster! Part 2

Just watch news on NTV7.
Japan had lost 300+ people..
Building are down, most of the place are floaded..
They lost family, friends, home, money..
Perhaps.. Some, everything..

Continue to keep them in prayer!

*Am worry~ Still can't contact my friends!

And pray for Malaysia too!
I don't wish to see news of Tsunami affected Sabah..
I got a lot of friends from Sabah, their family is there~
God, please protect them!

Not forgetting China, though their earthquake is 5+, but yet, people are still stuck in the colapse building!
Pray for the rescue team to search them out asap and save their life..
And so do the victim will be stay strong and live till rescue team save them out!

Stay STRONG! and don't give up hope!

Disaster!

The 8.9 quake hit the north-east of Japan, triggering a Tsunami!!

After I read this news!
Yes, I'm worry~
Guys, if u read my blog, please keep Japan in your prayer~
For protection, love and peace upon the nation..
It's gonna be a tough time for them.
no electric, no accomodation, no food, no drink, no transport..
Please pray for them..
Let them stay strong and support each other!

and I just read this..
Tsunami Alert for New Zealand, the Philippines, Indonesia, Papua New Guinea, Hawaii, and others. Waves expected over the next few hours, caused by 8.9 earthquake in Japan.
what's gonna happen next?

梦想。。

相信每个人都有自己的梦想吧。。？
你真正的梦想是什么。。？
你现在在前往你的梦想吗？
你的梦想就快达成了吗。。？
还是你已经活在你的梦想了。。？

要实现一个梦想不简单。。
付出的往往会比自己想象的多。。
再辛苦，也要相信自己，不要放弃。。
那你一定会成功。。
好好加油吧！
就算失败了，也没关系。。
至少你曾经努力过。。

=）

写华语

这几天，都好想用华语写字。。
华语也许没那么简单，但我喜欢。。

今天好忙。。
跑上跑下的，像大忙人一样。。
连Pharmarcy的人都认得我了！
病人却没什么照顾到。。
可是，没关系。。
忙也许是一件好事。。
可是之前扭到脚的痛又回来了。。
还记得那是以前参加Olahraga时的回来的伤。。
好怀恋以前在草场奔跑的时候。。
没信心，还是要跑！
=）

今天有些事很不顺利。。
弄得自己还蛮生气的。。
过后想了又想，为什么要生气呢？
我以前的忍耐度不是超好的吗。。？
跑去那了。。？
是时候反省反省咯。。

他今天找我。。
我，回了他。。
不想多说我的事。
特地转移话题。。
谈歌咏队的进展。。
却让我想起那是我们认识彼此的开始。。

突然读到了这一个。。
you are limiting yourself only with your own imagination. And your greatest limits are not even the ''cannot'' and the ''should not'', but the places where your imagination hasn't yet gone at all. There has never been a better time for you to open your eyes, let the imagination soar and see what more is possible.
我的结论。。
There is nothing ''out there'' that's holding you down.

今天就只有这样。。
晚安。。
=）

累了。。

也许今天大家都很累。。
也没什么心情。。
所以特别疯狂。。
至少，这是我们其中解除烦恼的日子吧。。
吃了日本餐。。
明明就很多食物。。
可是却吃不饱。。
还在大庭广众唱歌。。
买了零食和特甜饮料。。
就打算继续疯狂。。

今天受到了他的信息。。
他说。。你最近还好吗。。？
很抱歉没把事实说好。。之类的话。。
但这一切也许太迟了吧。。？！
我选择不回。。
因为我真的不好。。
太多事情在一瞬间发生。。
家庭，你还有学业。。
一直告诉自己没关系。。
要坚强。。
我可以做到。。
只是要时间吧！
我不开心的，是因为你没把事实告诉我。。
而是让别人揭发。。
可是这一切已经不重要了。。
我往前走，向前看！
给点时间去把自己的心恢复原状。。
还是会心痛，可是，可能我真的需要时间，也许我们可以变回好朋友。。
=）

1st post of March

One week past!
I've been spending time to fellowship with friends for the week.
1st was on Tues which was too RANDOM outting!
Spending some time to fellowship.. =)
watch a movie, SANCTUM, which can make people tension gau gau~
Anyway, enjoy it! haha!
and thx bro for spending the RANDOM time for me.. =)
I suppose u see this. haha!
Next was on thus, spending time with CG member.
Though cg member are same college, but we really busy with posting..
Cant even spent time to talk.
Even we meet, we was just hi bye~
Haha! I even told Chin, hello! it's been so long I didn't see you!
Anyway, enjoy CG with them..
At night, 2 people come to me and tell me their problem.
I'm glad they share their problem..
At least, it help in reduce their burden and stress.
FRIDAY! ANDREW TENG is BACK!
hahahaha! Good to see him(though we expect that he'll be back from S'pore)
We went Pyramid, while waiting ppl to come, mom called~
and cried in Pyramid. I can't believe I did that..
Luckily not much ppl saw~
Anyway, we spent time with Andrew by having dinner together and even went Meeples after that.
Next day we spent time for dinner too!
And singing and playing guitar~
We really miss the time we had!
He's just so good in playing guitar~
we can sing smoothly.. =)
And today!! Finally I'm back to CHOIR!
Oh happy day~
It's been a month we'r not there..
Really miss Choir Team 3.
But.. I just saw few people there.
And after service, we went Neway!
Awesome! Joy pick those high pitch songs!
Quite challenging man!
Haha! Still we'r hyper! =)
Thx for it.. Cause I'm halfly not in the mood..
Cause yea, I met him but we didn't talk.
I wish.. At least.. We can talk like usual~
Perhaps..?
I dunno what will going on next.
But.. duh.. leave it.
Here's almost end of my week!
CONCLUSION:
Spending so much time with so much people this week.
I enjoy the fellowship..
Haha~

(*every single people have their own problem. It's depent on how you overcome it. Either you work it out or you'll down because of it. +ve thinking is very important! Some problem might hardly found solution, but.. Believe in God that He'll help you and lead you past through everything. Have faith!)

Fellowship..

Pastor said, fellowship is not to achieve a goal, it's a way of doing life that bring out a balance in our life.
Well!
Thinking back of the time I fellowship with friends and family..
I realize, spending some time with some people, can help without you relize it too..
Anyway, friends, if u guys reading this, just remember, spent some times with yr friends and family..
Communicate with them more.
And remember, spent some time talking face to face, have a cup of 'COFFEE'(I think coffee will have good business after this! =P) is better than keep in touch by technology like FB, Twitter or sms.
The precious time u guys spent together would help a person a lot.
Their heart will be more open, you guys can know a person feeling much more better..
Be understanding and be more patient to a person who sharing their problem..
Well!
I think I shall learn how to share too..
I keep to much..
I'm still learning..
Sometime is hard to say out my problem.. or even stress or even some situation..
It's all stuck on my throat..
*sigh~
There's once, my friend told me that my problem is just a small matter..
But for me it's big..
Well, different people have different tough and feeling.
Just sometime I rather u guys just listen, maybe pray for me.
That would be better..
Anyway, doesn't matter of what situation it is..
Cause everytime u share, u gt a different feed back from people. =)
I shall learn to share more..
So, anyone, wanna have lunch or dinner with me..?
Hahahaha~

Planning for this weekend. =)

What shall I do on this saturday..?
I'm plan to become a bag packer again but I dunno where to go..
Haha!
Wanna save cost..
Yet I need a break.
Or shall I.. Do something fruitfull..?
Like facing my fears..?
But I can't do it myself.
Who's free to accompany me..?
so either travel or spent sometime on my stuff..
Which to choose..?
both is important.
Need to make a decision before weekend come.
Anyway, focus on taking care baby 1st.
Hahaha!!
They'r too cute.
Some are so manja.
I gotta hug them, manja-manja abit then only they can sleep.
Haha!
CUTE~
5 more days to go.
Jia You! =)

What a down week..

Oh my~
I can't believe that I stuck myself in such an emotional week..
I can't effort the 'pain' and problems..
It really stuck me in a bad situation!
=(
Though I've pray and get to read my bible..
It still can't get over it.
Fear remains fear..
I've try to start focus on study and it works!
Yet it was remind by ppl again~
And here's the insomnia and nightmares come..
I don't feel like talking bout..
But I just need a way to express out the feelings..
Maybe a hug or an ice-cream will do..
or I rather stuck myself
But I really refuse to TALK!
argh!
I need to recover soon!!
As soon as possible!!!

What a week had past..

Phew! Here comes the new week!
It's sunday~
Well, too much things fly over in my mind last week.
Perhaps too much.
And I didn't get to talk to a psn..
And I get angry easily..
Opps! There's one day, when Smun and Chin try to tie my hair, but kena scold.
Sry yea, if u guys read this.
U guys kacau at the wrong time..
Anyway, the week had past.
Though some of the problem might haven't solve, might even some answer haven't appear.
Still is alright..
Waiting for the right time to let God show me and lead me.
May fell dissapointed or sad in between but is alright..
Walk by faith!! and everything will be okie soon.
And take care to you, you, you and you.And you all.. =)
Not mentioning names but do believe!
Something might change~
And miracle might happen~
And well~
......
How to said?
Duh~
Nvm..
=)
Smile always and take carez!
New week with new days!
New hope is here too~
=)

Just~ Need a person to talk to..

I need a person to talk to..
Too much things flow in my mind today..
Might can take it might cant make it~
Feel so weak for the day..
Perhaps for the weak~
Need a restoration..

LAst Day At Ipoh..

Finally, this day come..
Don't feel like going back after spending so much time here..
=(
I don't wanna GO BACK!!!

Time for more Fun!! Day 3!!

woohoo~
It's day 3!!
Today we gonna have lunch with cousins as they gonna fly off to Australia to continue study.
Well, it's time for them to go back as they've skipping the class for few days.
We spent some time together..
And before they left to KL, my grandma and cousin sister tears drop..
aww~~
Though they gonna be apart till June, but I can understand how much they'll miss each other.
It's not easy for 2 teenager who is 18 and 16 to left their home when they'r 17 and 15.
Well~
All the best man!!

On the way!!
Camhore!! haha!
The light from the mirrow does 'support' me~
Nice! Feel natural with the lights!



And my brother join me too! haha!



Around 1+, I went to De Garden and meet up my primary school friends.
We meet up once a year!
So great to meet up them as some of them are study and working at Australia, S'pore and Taiwan.
They'll be back once or maybe twice per year!
Aww~
We spent some time for fellowship and talk bout how's life now.
And hahahaha!
They all though I've pak tor edi!!
*as they said I grow thinner and prettier!!
*Ehem!! Mana ada!! I grow side way by eating too much this few day le!
Ahahaha!
Laugh gau gau!!
And they even came to my house!
They said: Siang Lin, your house is super cold wei compare to outside!
and they stick in till almost dinner time.

This 2 guys used to sit with we when.. Hmph~ I forgot when but they kena 'bully' by me! Haha! there's few more but they'r not here.



These are my classmates too. =)



Around 6+pm, after my aunty called, my hp suddenly turn dark!!
What's going on?!
Try to open it but FAILED!!
Oh no~~
It really BO liao~
=(
Go and check and I've told that it can't fix at all.. =(
Sad case!!
Daddy decided to buy me a new one.
He said check the Nokia one.
But.. I don't like Nokia.
Anyway, my hp 'alive' after awhile.
Stil function but it will go off itself and turn on itself..
Daddy want me to go and find out which phone is usefull.
I've check it out till I blurr!!
So much!
I don't even know which to pick!
My aim, HTC(*might can't as it really expensive!!) or Samsung Galaxy or no choice, I got to take the Nokia touch phone.
No!
I don't want..
I need to find out a phone or few choices before Monday end!!
If not, daddy gonna choose by his own..
HELP!!